


Mustang.exe Has Stopped Working

by DeadbeatWeird



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Edward Elric Swears, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28771590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadbeatWeird/pseuds/DeadbeatWeird
Summary: Roy Mustang wakes up in a hospital after an unfortunate accident. Only to feel very fortunate when he finds a very gorgeous doctor beside him.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 8
Kudos: 135





	Mustang.exe Has Stopped Working

**Author's Note:**

> Unbetad. Please excuse my limited knowledge of the language and grammatical errors.

Roy drifts back to consciousness slowly. His body feels heavy. He can feel the familiar caress of headache settling in. Did he drink last night? He couldn't remember. The edges of his memory is a bit blurry. He decides it must be a hangover and hopes it's not a work day. Hawkeye would kill him if he showed up to work not only late but also hungover. But he's usually sensible enough not to drink on weeknights so hopefully no murder incidents would occur today. Certainly not one involving him as the victim.   
He takes in a slow shuddering breath and tries to move his body a bit. His muscles are stiff. But what gets his attention is the hasty rustle of fabric beside him. Oh God did he get wasted and sleep with someone? This hadn't happen in a long while. Not since shortly after Ishval. How long ago was that? Memories slip past, not quite holding on.  
"Roy?" A concerned male voice asks tentatively.  
Oh. Male paramours were rare, but not unheard of for him. But why did he sound so worried?  
"Ngh" Roy tried to work his throat, but his tongue felt too heavy to form words. He tried opening his eyelids. At least that was a slight success.  
Blurry images flooded his vision, everything out of focus. When his vision cleared a bit it was to find a gorgeous face looking worriedly down at him. If Roy believed in God, this is how the entity would look like, he decided. Or was it angels? Golden hair, golden eyes, golden skin, a devine beauty indeed. Roy tried to form a smile, charm the beautiful being.  
"I'll do get a nurse, okay?" Is what Gorgeous said, confusing Roy.  
A nurse? Was this some kind of role play? He liked kinky sex as much as the next guy, but they usually didn't extend to the morning after. Roy tried to look around him a bit trying to figure out where he was.  
White walls, white sheets, white curtains, and the distinct smell of disinfectant. A hospital? This surely would be taking things to a whole new level if it was some kinda role play. Or did he drink so much last night that he had to be admitted to a hospital? The latter seemed more likely, and less embarrassing.  
Gorgeous was back, with someone in a nurses attire in tow. She looked like a professional nurse (albeit with a very strict face) and not a cosplayer. So Roy decided on his conclusion that this is a hospital and he must have been sick.  
"Führer Mustang," the nurse asked, "how are you feeling?" She started taking his pulse. That's when he noticed the drip needle attached to his right hand. His Gorgeous Angel stood to the side with a concerned look in his face.  
Roy tried to clear his throat in order to answer, only to fall into a coughing fit. Gorgeous hurried over to the small bedside table and Roy soon found a straw protruding from a small paper cup held near his mouth. Roy took a small sip, then another bigger one. His burning throat soothed a bit, so he took another sip, looked up and smiled at Gorgeous.  
"I'm afraid you inhaled a bit of smoke, sir." The nurse continued after writing something down on a clipboard. "Please don't strain yourself trying to talk. Take your time. Your vitals are stable and there aren't any major external injury and no indication of any internal injuries either. If you aren't in extreme immediate pain, everything else should be fine."  
Gorgeous eyed the nurse with annoyance. "You shouldn't have asked him a question, if you didn't expect an answer." He grumbled.  
The nurse gave him a flat look. "He should feel sleepy again, there's still enough morphine in his blood system. Let him sleep it off. I'll be at my station Dr. Elric. Please call me if there are any changes in the Führer's situation." She left after putting the clipboard down on the bedside table.  
Roy lifts his left hand to tap at the gorgeous young doctor's wrist, bringing his attention back to the older man.  
"Do you want more water?" He asks in a soft voice, all hint of annoyance gone in an instant and holds up the straw up to his lips anyway.  
Roy smiles softly and takes two more sips then lets his head fall back comfortably on the pillow. The slight headache is still there and he can't help but worry if it's something serious. He breathes in deeply.  
"You should get some more sleep." Gorgeous mutters. He had put the cup back and was looming over Roy with that concerned look in his golden eyes. Why can Roy differentiate the emotions hanging in those eyes? They're very familiar but Roy couldn't quite put his finger on it.  
Roy clears his throat again, it's not burning anymore and his tongue doesn't feel as heavy as before. "You're beautiful" are the first words out of his mouth, they come out raspy.  
Gorgeous' shoulder slump and a sigh of relief leaves him. "You fuckin' sap! Of course that's the first thing you'd say!"  
"Can I take you out to dinner some time?" Roy was nothing if not a flirt, but this is quite forward even for him. He didn't even know Gorgeous' name but he didn't care.  
"I'm not letting you behind steering wheels so soon again." Gorgeous said with fond exasperation. He pulled out a chair and sat down beside the bed.  
"You're gorgeous. I love you." Roy doesn't know what's going on anymore. His mouth keeps running on it's own violation.  
"Don't think you're getting off the hook so easily with cheesy words bastard." Sharp words dulled by a slight pink tinge on his cheeks. "How many times have I told you to drive safely?"  
"You have?" Roy's confused mouth asked. "Do I know you? Are you a doctor?"  
"Huh?" Was all Gorgeous said.  
"Because I'd like to get to know you very much." Okay maybe Roy was getting a hold of his mouth again.  
"What the fuck you on 'bout?" Was it possible for someone to look this beautiful with their brows furrowed and eyes concerned?  
"I want to marry you. Tell me your name?" Ah and there goes his mouth again.  
"Oi stupid Roy stop it okay? You're really worrying me!"  
"I'm sorry," Roy said automatically. "I don't want to worry you, I want to marry you!" Why won't Gorgeous want to marry him?  
"I'll go get the nurse again! Don't you dare move!" Gorgeous left.  
Roy was not sulking. He was upset. Very very upset. A bit less so, when Gorgeous returned in a few moments with a bespectacled woman in a lab coat.  
"Did you come back to marry me?" Roy couldn't help his smile.  
The brunette woman arched one brow.  
Gorgeous turned to her, "I don't think he recognizes me. Possible amnesia?"  
The woman, who must be a doctor, Roy realized, took a small pen light out of her pocket. She flashed it in Roy's eyes and looked for something? It was annoying but Roy endured.  
"Probable side effects of morphine high." Doctor lady hummed before saying. "But he did hit his head on the steering wheel, so we can't be certain now. It'll be better if he sleeps it off for a while."  
Gorgeous had his hands crossed on his chest. "Seriously? And this is the best militarily hospital in the country? You guys can't even be sure?" He was mildly annoyed. He looked so adorable!  
"Things haven't changed much since the last time you visited Dr. Elric." She said cheerfully to him. Then turned towards Roy again, "Can you tell me what year it is Führer Mustang?"  
Year? Did it matter? "It doesn't matter. I'll marry him any day! He's gorgeous."  
Gorgeous rolled his eyes. But the doctor lady's eyebrows went up to her hairline.   
"Führer Mustang, sir, this is your husband." She enunciated slowly.  
"My husband? We're married?" Roy ~~shrieked at~~ asked Gorgeous.  
"Yes, dumbass we're married." He said with that worry fondness annoyance mixed voice.  
"You're married? To me? We're married? You love me? How long have we been married? What's your name?" Roy could hardly contain his grin.  
"Why're you so happy, geez! You even forgot my name! It's Ed!" Gorgeous, Ed, shakes his head and sits down beside Roy on the hospital bed. "Yes, yes I fuckin' love you and all that shit. So shut up and remember me already." He takes Roy's left hand in his.  
"You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen." Roy clutches the hand in his tighter. "I'm so lucky. You're my husband! Do we have dogs? We must have dogs."  
"Seriously Roy? Okay, tell you what, if you get all better and stuff, we'll go get a dog."  
"You're perfect! I want to kiss you. Have we kissed yet?" Roy really really wanted to kiss his gorgeous husband, and maybe more.  
Edward bent down and shortened the distance between their faces and cupped his jaw with one hand. "Tell you what bastard, if you sleep now and wake up all better in a few hours, I'll give you the kiss of your life, deal?"  
"Okay," Roy would give him anything and everything Ed wanted, "anything for you gorgeous!" No reason not to tell him.  
"Go to sleep, okay? I'll be right here." Ed said as his hands brushed soothing circles on Roy's.  
Roy wanted to reply, he really did, but he was so sleepy. So he hummed a little in answer and got comfortable, the pillow was really soft. As his consciousness drifted off he heard Ed mumbling something to the doctor.

* * *

Ed was trying to read the book spread on his lap where he sat on the stupid hospital chair. The best part about being ambidextrous was probably being able to take notes with your left hand while your right was holding on to your unconscious husband. Speaking of which, Ed looked up when the said hand in his twitched. He put the book away on the end table and turned his attention towards Roy.  
Roy, his dumbass husband who went and hit a fucking tree with his car, was waking up for the second time now in four hours. Ed couldn't help the twist of anxiety in his gut.  
"Hey, Roy?" He asked hesitantly.  
Roy blinked his eyes open, slowly at first and focused on Ed's face. "Mm Ed? What happened?"  
"You banged your head. The doctor says it's nothing serious. Do you want me to get her?"  
"No, no I don't think I need the doctor right now. You look worried."  
"Of course I'm worried bastard! Can you tell me the date? My name?" Ed was really becoming a worried old man now.  
Roy looked at him with mild confusion. "Are you sure you're not the one who banged their head, love?  
"Fuckin' answer the question bastard." Ed was too tired to put any heat behind the words.  
"You're Dr. Edward Elric-Mustang, the love of my life, the reason for my being, the sunshine after ra-mmpff" Ed cut Roy off by smashing their mouths together.

**Author's Note:**

> So y'all remember that video where man wakes up after surgery and hits on his own wife? I've seen variations of it in other fandoms, but didn't know if we had one for RoyEd... so yeah that's that.
> 
> I consider this post canon to Brotherhood. Ed travels around for two years im Aerugo and Creta after Al's body recovers. Comes back and settles in Central. Works on his research. Gets his doctorate or some shit. Gets a job as a professor in Central University. And in between all that - while meeting up with Team Mustang on bar nights he and Roy forge a sort of friendship, which leads to one on one coffee with the excuse of Roy skipping work, that turns into dinner dates and poof, before they know it, they're married!! Now Ed is around 28 and Roy is 42 in this fic. So yeah that's why Ed is a bit mellow here. And the Doctor Lady is actually Mustang's personal physician and they know each other and stuff. That's why she's so chill.
> 
> PS. I have no personal experience when it comes to car accidents, losing consciousness or hospital procedures. Everything I know comes from reading other fictional works...so yeah sorry about all the inaccuracies. But an accident seemed more Mustang style than any operation lol.


End file.
